sometimes you have to let go of being noticed. and not in the SPOTLIGHT kind of way. like the a speck of dust on the woodwork.
here is the thing. i am TOO sensitive. i get it.
and when TOO sensitive is standing in line at a candy shop (let’s say the day before valentine’s day) she becomes a speck. because it’s the day before valentine’s day and everyone is there. and everyone is irritated and frantic to grab the last of anything. although they do stop to smile when the Chief Client Supervisor asks if you would like a candy. then they smile.
so TOO sensitive is just standing there and waiting. then the girl says something to the bearded man. and TOO sensitive interjects herself because she actually really likes talking to strangers because she can be exactly who she is. snarky and funny. a good listener. even kind-hearted. actually very kind-hearted. and so the bearded man and TOO sensitive joke about the lack of cards that express how we really feel after 20 plus years of marriage. and not the sappy ones. sentiment like – thanks for sticking in there – i know i’m a pain in the ass. then the girl with the armful of candy giggles. bearded man asks who the candy is for. her mom is out of remission and even though she knows it’s bad for her, everyone deserves candy on valentine’s day. and she says it’s hard everyday. TOO sensitive tells her that she is such a good daughter and YES, her mom should eat candy – as much as she wants. the bearded man tells his story of cancer and the other side of it. he asks the girl if her mom likes peanut butter. she says yes and he grabs his favorite and tells her he is buying it for her mom. TOO sensitive thinks his wife is pretty frickin’ lucky to have him and tells him so.
insert the chin quiveries here. and heart swellies.
with our bags in hand each of us said goodbye-takecare-lovetoyourmom as we left. gosh i love that feeling. that feeling when you are just a person who is nice to talk to. like we were friends and would see each other again. which we won’t.
so TOO sensitive goes home and does what she does for all the people that expect her to do it. without being dramatic or thoughtful or anything TOO sensitive.
and it dawns on her that is isn’t her. that she is just right and that it’s everyone else that needs to work on being insensitive. and that relying on the kindness of strangers sometimes exactly what she needs to remember that.