so over the last few years i have worked really hard to pull my artist-self up to a place that makes me happy.
finding the balance.
working all.the.time. 40 hours a week for my day job. and another bazillion as an artist.
finding the softness.
remembering that there is always something ahead and behind. better and worse. scary and comfortable. awesome and awful. hopeful and realistic.
you get the drift.
right in the middle of it. all of it. it is too much. but it is so good.
a few months ago i was finishing the last parts of my new book and for many reasons, my biography was by far the hardest part. cuteGIRL offered to write one for me. but wrote it from her perspective. i knew that it wouldn’t make it into the book because that isn’t how book bios roll. but. gosh. it was written into my heart.
so on the days where panic, judgement and overwhelm live and breath inside of me. i read it again. but this time, I want to share it. because the peeps that love you see you like cuteGIRL sees me. pretty flippin awesome.
My mom can create in more ways than what she displays on a canvas. She has always been talented, coloring since she was little, as most tiny humans do. However, my mom was able to bring her artistic skills into adulthood. Her ability to do so brings me to the most prominent adjective I would to describe her as an artist: dedicated. She was a little girl who loved to draw, but she is one of the lucky people who is able to bring her talent to life. She showed me dedication to doing what she loved as she was able to receive her degree in Graphic Design. She has never stopped being dedicated-when my brother, Clay, and I were little, she dedicated her time to making sure that our childhood’s would always be remembered through scrapbooking. She was so dedicated to her work, as well as her family, that she was able to yet again bring in her innate talent of artistic skill and adoration of her loved ones into one place. Through her dedication to these two important parts of her life, she was published in several scrapbooking magazines, how-to books, as well as creating her own line of product. It wasn’t just talent that brought success. It was dedication.
Even though I have grown up and moved away from home, my mom’s art still tells me stories. I have a piece in my room, a girl with a squirrel. She tells me to remember to not lose myself. I have a piece in my first grade classroom. This one reminds me that I’m loved even though I’m far away. While I know that she doesn’t share every story she purposefully tells, I know that each piece resonates with every person so envision his or her own story.. Yes, her art is whimsical, light, delicate, and graceful, but behind every stroke and pencil mark there is so much more. The paint shows me a million colors, but behind that I see a dedicated artist, a loving mother, a memory maker, a story teller, and a brave woman who is willing to put herself out there for the sake of doing what she loves.
I’m so proud to be your daughter.
Pretty powerful stuff.
PS. if you haven’t signed up for my online class “creativeGIRL: storybooks and studious girls” now is the time to do it! early bird registration is only $28 until february 2. it is going to be pretty darn fun and I would love to have you join me!